


Foibles

by RayeoftheSunshine



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: FFxivWrite, FFxivWrite2020, Gen, IMAGINARY TRAUMA THAT HAS NOT HAPPENED, ONLY HYPOTHETICAL, some MENTION of POTENTIAL trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26596975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayeoftheSunshine/pseuds/RayeoftheSunshine
Summary: Alisaie is not an idiot, but when someone says her behavior will get her in trouble with the Garleans, she has a moment of doubt. For the ffxivwrite challenge day 21, foibles.
Relationships: Alisaie Leveilleur & Alphinaud Leveilleur
Kudos: 11





	Foibles

**Author's Note:**

> A jab at some of the more idiotic views on Alisaie. **Warning: there is a skirting around the discussion of torture and rape here.** Seeing as no _actual_ torture or rape occurs, I didn't feel it right to use an archive warning on this fic. But if even the idea stresses you out, please, there's no shame in turning back now and reading something else.

Alisaie knew what people thought of her. They thought she had no brains and only used her sword in any given situation. They believed she would pointlessly risk her and her friends’ safety because they thought she had _fun_ in dangerous situations. People looked down on her because she had a more fiery personality than her brother, who was _just as stupid as she was_ , only he hid it better most of the time.

The one she found the most hurtful was the fact people thought she wasn’t intelligent. That she didn’t study. That she _cheated_ her way through the Studium. Alisaie knew full well that she had her foibles, but she was not stupid and she would _never_ cheat in academia! She had gotten into the Studium on her own merit, the same as Alphinaud, at age eleven. She had graduated with full marks at sixteen. Did that not show that she was more than a weapon?

When she overheard one of the Scions tell Hoary Boulder that she would end up getting kidnapped by the Garleans and then likely tortured and raped, and her recklessness would be at fault, Alisaie had retreated and sat on her bed inside the Rising Stones. She stared down at her hands, but she would not cry. “Do they really think so low of me?” she whispered, opening and closing her hands. “Do they _really_ think I would put myself in such a situation?”

She could see it happening, too, the way they imagined it. She could see herself trying to gain information on a Garlean camp the way she had on Ardbert and his friends, but instead of a poisoned arrow, it was capture. Alisaie could only vaguely imagine what would come after, but it made her wrap her arms around herself and squeeze tight. There was always a chance that clashing with the Garleans would result in something like this, but she had never been accused of being so reckless that it would be _her fault_.

 _I wouldn’t let that happen,_ she told herself. _I would never allow myself to be in a situation where I could be captured._ She had trained too long and too hard, and she had learned her lesson from her encounter with the Warriors of Darkness. It would be a long time before she tried such a thing again, especially when Thancred had far more practice in espionage. Her body was relearning the skills she had acquired on the First, and she knew her limits.

“Why do they think so little of me? I know I have joked about being reckless, but—but—” She stopped to take measured breaths. Alisaie was _not_ going to cry, and losing control of her breathing would only lead to tears. Then her door opened and she saw her brother standing in the doorway.

Somehow, she felt caught, but as she hadn’t cried, there was nothing to be embarrassed over. _Unless he heard her too. What if he heard what she said about me?_ Alisaie watched him shut the door and come to her bed with some trepidation. His moonstone carbuncle followed him, she saw, and it leapt straight into her lap. She let out a gasp at the surprise weight but wrapped her arms around the enormous, squishy pet. Alisaie began petting it while Alphinaud sat down next to her, and then pressed her face into its soft fur. 

“I will _never_ let you be captured,” her brother declared, and it only made her press her face further against his fluffy companion. So he’d heard after all. “Alisaie…”

“They all think that about me!” she hissed, lifting her face enough to catch his eye. “They all think I am a boorish, reckless, foolish dunderhead! And they forgive _you_ when _you_ do something foolish! What have I done to make them think I do not have a brain?!” 

Alphinaud shook his head. “They don’t understand your methods, that’s all. You are in no such danger with the Garlean Empire like what she said about you.”

“I don’t understand,” she said, defeated. “Do the others think this about me? Urianger or Y’shtola? Thancred? _G’raha?_ ” Then, her eyes widened. “Or… our friend?” That was too horrible. If their friend, her greatest hero, thought so poorly of her, she didn’t think she could bear the shame.

“No!” He leaned forward in earnest. “None of our friends think that of you. You are none of those things she said and implied about you. We know you better than that. And you know that I am always beside you.”

Alisaie pressed her face against the carbuncle again. Once more she felt imagined pain in her body from the imaginary trauma. “What if it happened, and… and something _permanent_ happened to me? Would you not find me disgusting?”

“Alisaie…” She felt his hand on her head, and apparently he had taken off his gloves. “Alisaie, no matter what, you are my sister. My _twin_ sister. There is nothing you could do that would make me think so ill of you. There is nothing that could happen to you that could make me think so ill of you. Nothing. Neither tempered by a god nor… nor whatever imagined torture from the Garleans would make me or our friends who _love_ you think any lesser of you.” He stroked her hair, trying to soothe her, and she felt her shoulders slowly relax. “They think they have us both figured out, and they don’t want to think critically about us, especially you. They are wrong.”

“I thought I was being amusing when I joked about how I was doing something horribly reckless again,” she mumbled, peeking at him over the carbuncle. “I only meant to tease.”

He smiled affectionately. “Well, our friend certainly thought you were being hilarious when she wasn’t worried about how G’raha was faring.”

“He turned out all right in the end.”

“Yes, thankfully, and so have we, much to everyone’s relief.”

Alisaie smiled and sat up. His hand dropped from her head, and the two of them began petting his carbuncle. After a while, she said, “You really don’t believe her?”

“I don’t believe anything she said about you. I know you far better than anyone like her ever could. You are just as clever and deserve to be here, Alisaie.” 

She leaned against his shoulder and allowed the large, white carbuncle to snuggle closer. “Thank you, Alphinaud. It was… it was a moment of weakness. That’s all.”

“There’s my brave, courageous sister,” he teased. “You have my support, always.”

Later, their friend found the pair laughing over reminiscing fond memories, and she smiled to see Alisaie in good cheer. The words still hurt, but the balm of her brother’s love and the Archons’ friendship would let her heal.

**Author's Note:**

> I've heard some bad takes on Alisaie and I just felt I had to defend her today. There are things about her I dislike, certainly, but I would never accuse her of being stupid or a cheat. She's got a good heart and deserves better.  
> And then there's the "she'll get captured by Garleans and suffer trauma" bit. That came from an idea someone had a very long time ago (three years ago now), and I have never really let go of how horrible I thought it was. I mean, I wasn't about to cancel the person who came up with it (we all come up with scenarios that are unpleasant or traumatic and explore them, plus at the time she was my best friend and I adored her), but I think about that idea every now and then. I couldn't bring myself to fully describe anything, but I think you can imagine what she is imagining. It's terrifying and it's upsetting, because I truly believe Alisaie would never land in such a circumstance. And it would never be her fault even if she did.
> 
> Let's all just remember that Alisaie is the one who organizes the way into the coils of Bahamut, thinks fast on her feet and gets Alphinaud and the Warrior of Light to safety, manages to essentially blackmail a ship captain to sailing them over to Kugane, and oh yeah, graduated at sixteen after entering what is basically university at eleven. She was practically a baby at that point. The twins are barely 4'6" at sixteen; how tiny do you suppose they were at eleven??? They are the definition of tiny but mighty.
> 
> Alisaie is just a girl. A teenager who wants to prove herself. She's not an adult. She's nowhere _near_ fully developed. I feel like people forget this.
> 
> I'll be seeing you with day 22.


End file.
